It Wasn’t My Time

Everybody has a life theme; mine- humiliation.

For some, finding one’s blog spelling and grammar errors after publication is too much to bare. Moments like that, however, I endure- embarrassment happens. Milliseconds of silent expletive and my mind shakes it off. Life goes on. The spice must flow.

A recent humiliating mishap was on another level; it nearly buried me.

It began with sad industry news; a legal giant had passed. An industry luminary, and a mentor, was to be put to rest at week’s end. I anticipated the ceremony would be well attended.

The horrific rainstorm the night before was not going to dampen the occasion. The day of the event was sunny and full of crisp fresh air. Along with the family members, about 500 lawyers- many firm partners, and judges were in attendance.

The chapel ceremony went off well. It was impressive that so many people took the time off to share the sad moment.

After the ceremony, the large crowd went up on the hill to the grave for the burial. Once the short service concluded, all those in attendance took to the tradition of shoveling dirt into the grave. I lined up. Due to the numbers present, there was a wait.

Once I got before the grave, I noticed a problem. The ground surrounding the grave was severely compromised. The fresh digging along with the rain had caused the area to look like slop. I cautiously maneuvered around it. After placing two shovel fulls down in respect to this friend and mentor, something happened. My feet must have ended up on a bad spot.

My reliable boat shoes suddenly started to hydroplane. My feet started to uncontrollably move. I was sliding and there was a problem. My feet’s direction was into the grave! Every millisecond I drew closer and closer to being propelled into the hole where the white casket rested. Every millisecond became increasingly more horrific. The ultimate humiliation of a lifetime was to be at a cemetery! If I lived through this happening, my career was over. Throughout my legal community, I would be guy that fell into the grave. Bury me if that was going to happen!

While my wife watched in horror, the Universe, however, was kind to me. Friction coefficients and gravitational forces saved me. Somehow, I stopped. Did the Almighty bail me out? Certainly, if there was a heaven, the deceased, who had an amazing sense of humor, was laughing his behind off.

In the end, it wasn’t my time. A lifetime of humiliation passed by in the moment of impending humiliation. I am grateful and appreciative that I was spared. Despite this moment of salvation, I understand the spice must flow. As such, I anticipate someone will find a spelling or grammatical error in this rant.

Be well!!

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