pt robbins is here to motivate you again. do you have “complaint syndrome?” is your complaining holding you back in life? nor worries, pt robbins offers a money in the bank strategy to assist you with “complaint syndrome.”
“complaint syndrome” is two-fold. first, are you a bad complainer? do you have issues you need to address but can’t get others to listen or take care of them? second, are you someone who just wants to complain and not get results?
this blog is to address part one: being a bad complainer.
the ten commandments’ story is ripe with complainers. the following a classic case of “complaint syndrome” at its very worst. it provides excellent examples of what not to do.
in numbers 20:1 its states “the entire congregation of the children of israel arrived at the desert of zin in the first month, and the people settled in kadesh. miriam [moses’ sister] died there and was buried there. the congregation had no water; so they assembled against moses and aaron. the people quarreled with moses, and they said, “if only we had died with the death of our brothers before the lord. why have you brought the congregation of the lord to this desert so that we and our livestock should die there? why have you taken us out of egypt to bring us to this evil place; it is not a place for seeds, or for fig trees, grapevines, or pomegranate trees, and there is no water to drink.”
the following is why the congregation’s complaining was an epic fail.
first, know your audience: moses and aaron’s sister just passed away. they were perhaps still in mourning and emotionally fragile. in sum, was this the best time to complain? would it have been appropriate to ask moses and aaron if it was a good time to talk?
second, problem-solve younself: the passage reflects no effort of the congregation to make any attempt to obtain water on their own. in sum, before your start complaining, shouldn’t you try to solve the problem yourself before starting to complain? if you do, wouldn’t your complaint carry more weight when registered? also, in doing so, you may not solve the problem but discover information that may assist in solving the problem.
third, quarreling doesn’t work: if there is truly an urgent need, quarreling does not work. group problem solving is indicated. at that point, problem solving with the other individual or group may be indicated. in sum, if you have a problem to be solved, isn’t it better to get it solved rather than score points or unleash anger?
fourth, insults don’t work. the congregation was dealing with a known quantity. moses and aaron has delivered in the past. moses and aaron had a reputation. they had delivered in the past. insulting an individual does not assist in getting solutions. it actually makes things worse. wouldn’t it have been better to use flattery? wouldn’t it have been better to tell them that their past efforts were appreciated and appeal to them to see if they can continue with their efforts to deliver?
fifth, lies don’t work: the congregation lies to moses and aaron. was egypt so wonderful? exodus 3: 7 provides “and the lord said, “i have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in egypt, and I have heard their cry because of their slave drivers, for I know their pains.” don’t you lose credibility to your complaints when you use lies to advance them?
in sum, pt robbins says as follows: if you are ready to start complaining. first, try to solve the problem yourself and investigate the issues. second, approach the person at an appropriate time when they are mentally and emotionally available. third, try to group problem solve with the individual rather than pick a fight with them. fourth, if you really want to get the problem solved, don’t start insulting the individual. fifth, have credibility with respect to your complaints. don’t make lies in an attempt to advance your cause. it is not convincing. individual can see through the lack of truthfulness.
in conclusion, don’t get caught in “complaint syndrome.” taking the wrong approach to complaining can result in problems not being solved. also, it can unnecessarily damage relationships.
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