“you can’t always get what you want, you can’t always get what you want
but if you try sometime you find, you get what you need” rolling stones
life is not easy. it was never intended to be easy.
this is as stated in genesis 3:17, “cursed be the ground for your sake; with toil shall you eat of it all the days of your life. and it will cause thorns and thistles to grow for you, and you shall eat the herbs of the field. with the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, until you return to the ground, for you were taken therefrom, for dust you are, and to dust you will return.”
depression can be debilitating. there is tremendous uncertainty in those who are starting off in life. anxiety, depression, and fear are some of the emotions that can be debilitating. it is a heavy burden.
life, for most, is a grind. when you are young, and sometimes when you are older, you find that everyone is measuring up to you or you are measuring up to them. you see friends and relatives that are more successful than you, you see friends and relative that are less successful than you. for some, there is an internalization of the negative. we feel that we are not measuring up to others. we are a disappointment. there is an internalization of the loss of hope. there is the internalization that there is no future.
the medical profession has a failing with respect to mental health issues such as depression. the attitude is akin to buddhism. there is the sense that you need to deal with your state of depression and feel comfortable about it and accept it.
with this, medical professionals throw out some of the worst advice possible. the one that i have heard time and time again is that they tell individuals to quit their jobs. to this, i tell the individual who was told this to go back to their therapist. i tell them to tell the therapist that if the therapist willing to pay their mortgage, car insurance and tuition for their kids in school if they truly quit their job. therapist can be divorced from reality of life.
thus, if one is advising one to quit their job, there must be a strategy implemented as part of the therapy to get an alternative position.
the medical profession also employs medications to treat mental illness that has side effects. some of these medications can cause suicidal thoughts and ideation.
finally, there is therapy fatigue. after some extensive therapy, there may not be much more to be said to a therapist. yet, there is an appointment coming up. those moments are akin to a comedian who is trying to gather material for a 45 minute “stand up” routine. you search through your week of you next appointment trying to gather up material for your therapy session. despite this problem, the final words of the session will always be the question “are you able to come in next week?”
therapy can be helpful. i do not want diminish its value. my concern is directed to whether it is for a limited period and designed to achieve a goal. my concern with respect to the medications is that there may be significant side effects that may be worse than the illness itself.
the recent story to tommy raskin was of interest. according to reports, he had dreams, goals and things to accomplish in life. he was from a family of means. they were well connected and successful. yet, in this situation, there was the tragedy of a suicide relating to depression.
there are many of us who reach dark places in their lives. in one encounter i had during a period of considerable stress, i was told by someone that he was surprised that i had not committed suicide given all that had happened. to me, i was surprised by the comment. to me, depression during college years took more of a toll than in adulthood.
in the back of my mind, i have always understood that life was not easy. despite the angst, there are goals to be achieved and experiences to be had.
in sum, my advise is that if you are in need of assistance with depression, you must act as a consumer and question your medical providers as to how you will proceed to deal with addressing your problems. there should be goals and timelines. there should be concern over taking medications. there should be exploration into alternative medications that have less side effects. there should be exploration into non medication supplements that have been found effective and have been recommended by providers.
my final bit of advise if that life as we know it was never intended to be easy. it is with challenges. we are all in this together. do not consider yourself along. reach out to others. you will find there are others that share your concerns. support each other. be who you are. the best you that you can be.