in 1972, mr. david gates, after his father’s passing, penned the song “everything i own.”
at his father’s funeral, a friend told him that mr. gates’ father was always proud of him and his music. songfacts.com mr. gates, inspired by these words, penned a song honoring his father. gates said, “my success would have been so special to him as he was my greatest influence. so I decided to write and record ‘everything I own’ about him.” songfacts.com
mr. gates, of the now legendary rock n’ roll band, bread, made the song a rock n’ roll classic.
the song’s lyrics include lines such as “you sheltered me from harm kept me warm, kept me warm you gave my life to me set me free, set me free.” and lines such as “the finest years i ever knew were all the years i had with you.” azlyrics.com
the summation line of the song was “and i would give anything i own i’d give up my life, my heart, my home i would give everything i own just to have you back again you taught me how to love.” azlyrics.com
from the lyrics, it would appear that mr. gates’ father was a parent did not hover over his son as the “helicopter parents” do. likewise, we learn that his father was one not to give his son excessive praise. additionally, there was another telling line “you never said too much but still you showed the way and i knew from watching you.” this line is a testament to the power of a parent’s non-verbal expression.
this song offers a course in master parenting. mr. gates’ father was able to find happiness in his son’s abilities and successes without interfering in his child’s development. he understood that being a parent was setting an example versus lecturing. he knew he had the power to communicate values, caring and concern without using words.
it is perhaps with no surprise, that in the current era of popular music, we do not hear too many hit songs singing praising fathers. what could be the reasons? is the lack of these songs a result of the lack of fathers playing a role in raising their children? is the lack of these songs a result of the the lack of fathers actually being present in a significant amount of households? is the lack of these songs a result of the lack of appreciation of fathers no longer knowing how to play the role of father? is there a lack of these songs evidence that society that has done everything within its means to destroy the value of fatherhood?
the fact that these songs are not being composed, produced, and performed in a commercially successful manner is a wake up call. children not singing praises of their father is tantamount to a canary not singing in a coalmine. for those not familiar with the idom, it means “something whose sensitivity to adverse conditions makes it a useful early indicator of such conditions; something which warns of the coming of greater danger or trouble by a deterioration in its health or welfare.” yourdictionary.com
in sum, while we should enjoy this music and share it with our children, it is time for fathers to realize that everyday we must work on fathering. in most circumstances, fathering is a careful balancing act of giving a child not “too much” and not “too little” but giving them “just enough” so that they can become productive adults.
be well!!
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