the recent alleged mass shooter’s background took me back to my time in high school. he appears to be an awkward individual who had at least on serious encounter with law enforcement.
awkwardness, for many, is a part of life which must be overcome. there are many ways to do so. sadly, for some, violence appears to be their prescription for a solution.
the alleged highland park shooter’s background took me back to a high school moment. i too was awkward. not part of the popular crowd, i engaged in some chemical exploration of the mind which was essentially substance abuse. there was little to lose that year, admission to college was a lock. despite being awkward, i had desire to have a relationship. i was too shy and too insecure, however, to do so.
a scheduling snafu took me from an honors english class to a regular english class. i was to spend a semester with unfamiliar students. regular english class was tantamount to a holding cell. the students served their time with little interest in learning. i may have stood out as, despite my poor judgment and immaturity, i possessed some manners and could act well behaved. i thought that she was a good teacher and had sympathy for dealing with a rough class.
we were assigned a creative writing essay. i dreamed of being a writer and at the time worked in a book store. i was inspired by cameron crowe’s “fast times at ridgemont high.” for some reason, i penned out a piece involving violent threats to an authority figure. my poor judgment at the time that this would be great. for some reason, i felt i wanted to get a rise out of the teacher. perhaps, i wanted to make feel aware that i was in the classroom. i wanted attention.
upon submission of the paper, there were certain thoughts that i had. one was that there was a likelihood that i would be confronted by the teacher over the inappropriate subject. even worse, i would be meeting the school counselor. also, there was the inappropriate thought that i had sent a message of control. i was someone to fear.
the result, did not go that way. i received an “a” on the paper. there were no meetings concerning the paper. it blew over. i was thankful that my foolishness and indiscretion did not have further consequences. a lesson was learned.
this immature and inappropriate attempt to allude to violence hopefully provides some insight into this problem. many of these individuals who are thinking or planning to do violence do so as an attention getter. with this in mind, one must understand that it is likely that these individuals, prior to their significant act, have made numerous attempts to grab attention in various ways. this as well can involve allusions to violent acts or violent acts.
as such, when dealing with these type of individuals, it is important to assess as to whether they have any other means of gathering attention than mere violence. individuals who see themselves as having no other outlet may be the ones that we should be concerned about.
my heart goes out to all those who are suffering from the recent string of tragedies. perhaps, this information may be helpful in preventing future events. if troubled individuals have the ability to channel their attention getting away from acts of violence, perhaps tragedy can be averted. assisting children to find other pathways or opportunities for happiness and satisfaction is an important step in solving the problem. the sole meaning in one’s life cannot be the receipt of attention.
be well!!
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