Honor-Your Mother! Part 1

On the eighth day, God created irony

Imagine naming your daughter Honor only to have her being full of disrespect. It may have happened. In an interview, Hollywood Actress and Entrepreneur Jessica Alba outed her alleged insolent daughter named Honor. This family relations topic, however, was served up as part of a magazine promotion. Thus, we shall tackle this woeful child’s tale of defiance with a heaping tablespoon of skepticism. 

Must all aspects of life be monetized?

Therapy, of course, was Ms. Alba’s solution for her troubled daughter and their problematic relationship. Yes. Spending money on professionals and medications is the modern approach to solve ancient problems. A consumer-based society preaches the falsitude that all people-related problems can be solved by money. 

Ms. Alba’s solution reaches back to the likes of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung to solve her problem as opposed to reaching back to Moses, Mt. Sinai, and the Ten Commandments. The problem extends back, for Humanity, beyond to when the first Homo Sapien parents brought a child into this world. 

Ms. Alba’s conversation on parenting difficulties was part of Real Simple Magazine’s first ever “Feelings Issue”. The magazine’s goal is help people simplify their life.

Ms. Alba, owner of the Honest Company, described her parent-child dispute as follows: ”Honor was probably 11, and we were arguing all the time about dumb stuff. And I was like,”i don’t want to live like this. This is not fun.” People.com. With that, Ms. Alba’s therapist enlightened her to an apparently unknown fact that “it’s natural for kids to disagree with their parents, and as a parent, it’s not always about being right or rational in that moment.” People.com

Fun?

Many people conduct their lives based upon false assumptions. Parenting is not “fun.” Rather than being a Disneyland amusement ride, dealing with children, even when they are succeeding, is not “fun.” Rather, it is an obligation that can prove rewarding. Parenting’s ultimate goal – unknown to many – is to transform their child into a fully functional adult. This is a process that requires long-term planning, patience, wisdom, and community backing. 

Revolt

In one of my popular posts, I told the tale of a mother who was worried that her mentally disabled child suddenly started being difficult. Her daughter was about twenty years of age. The mother was in distress and she felt she was losing control. She was worried that something was going wrong. I, in turn, told her that she should be excited. I explained to her that her daughter was maturing. Her daughter wanted to be an adult and make her own decisions. Thus, her saying “no” and being difficult was part of her assertion of independence. She was becoming her own self and wanted to make her own decisions. Her daughter was experiencing a delayed milestone.

Revolt is inherent in human beings. Adam and Eve’s tale impresses upon that children will not listen to their parent or creator. It implies that disobedience is an integral part of being human. Life constitutes of a variety of struggles; to be one’s self , to survive, and to thrive.

Solutions

Anyone having a child should be aware to take prophylactic measures as soon as they become a parent. Parental modeling is important. Thus, the Ten Commandments’ “Honor your Mother and Father” comes into play. 

A parent’s behavior is as important as a child’s. A parent should assess as to whether they are honoring their own parents. They should set the example. Children must see their parents honoring their parents. 

For those having Children, the Torah’s Bible Stories concerning families are a great start in working on family relations. These stories illustrate family difficulties and family resolutions. Children can learn much as to how to not only interact with their parents, but also with their siblings.

In sum, while therapy may be helpful with difficult children, good parenting begins at the beginning.  Further, dealing with a child seeking to become independent will always be uncomfortable for the parent. This is part of the Human Condition. The Part II Post on this topic will address “the revolt.”

Be well!!

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