On A Lark, Chestnut Is No Longer America’s Top Dog

Fanaticism has a price in the world of sports. Superstars and idols succumb human frailties such as greed and ego. Escapism to a world of purity or innocence dissipates. On a Lark, however, there is some hope. A little “hot dog” named Lark served up athletic dominance in 2024, satiate anyone with an appetite for sports idolatry.

Yes, a dainty petite bushy eared pouchie with a fanciful tail had an accomplishment will make up from the disappointment of this year’s Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest debacle.

The 2024 rendition of the Nathan’s Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest, one of the last bastions of sport purity, has been stained. It wasn’t by mustard, relish, chili or heavens to forbid ketchup. Rather, the contest got indelibly marked by greed. The bona fide ultimate gastronomic competition will forever be tarnished in controversy.

For many years, fans worldwide knew that in New York at High Noon on the 4th of July was a “must see” event. Many BBQs stop so that the faithful could religiously witness Mr. Joey Chestnut defend his hot dog eating dominance. Chestnut’s mass consumption was something of the gods. Reatedly, he had earned the coveted “mustard” belt of champions. Once, he even devoured a patriotic seventy-six dogs in a ten-minute stretch.

Thus, it was hard to stomach the news that Mr. Chestnut, the greatest hot dog eating competitor in the history of the sport, will be a no show. Apparently, the beef causing his non-appearance this year revolves around Chestnut’s taking on a partnership with a manufacturer of plant-based hot dogs. This business dealing apparently was apparently too much for Nathan’s organizers to swallow. As a result, this year, one of the greatest annual sporting events will be beset emptiness.

Perhaps, the only good thing about idolatry is that people are able to move on. Human fixation on idols is of a short time span. Eventually, they will move on to newer and shinier images.

2024, also marked a legacy achievement to match Mr. Chestnut’s 16 wins over the past 17 contests. An eight-inch dog deserves to nudge knocking Mr. Chestnut off of the sports’ pantheon. The above eight-inch reference is not to a sausage length but rather to this competitor’s height class.

Lark, the Papillion, has blown out both her male and female competitors over a series of Masters Agility competitions. This pooch can now sit, stand or fetch with the canine greats. Her 2024, Masters Agility victory gave her three championship wins a four-year span.

Using my version of Terryology, converting this accomplishment in dog-years, this canine, along with her trainer Betsey Lynch, have essentially have dominated the sport for twenty-one of twenty-eight years.

Lark’s great achievement is also one for the female sex. Unfortunately, like Nimble the Masters overall agility champion, her wins have also been dogwashed. The media fails to report on her femininity. The fact that both dog and trainer are female is not celebrated by those who embrace the notion of identity. Historically, both female trainers and competitors have achieved tremendous success in the sport of agility. They have beat male competitors to the bone on many occasions.

So, at this point, in a dog eat dog moment, I am proud to announce that Lark has now supplanted Mr. Chestnut on the coveted sports’ pantheon.

What is to be made of Mr. Chestnut? Humans often need to be judged as Humans. Human memory is forgiving to those of great fame. For instance, not too many people know that the immortal Sandy Koufax once held out due to a contract dispute. Overtime, however, facts disrupting purity fade. Rather, only the memory of outstanding achievements and grace remain. Most likely, Mr. Chestnut will get a leg back up onto the pantheon of greatness. In this moment in time, however, Lark is clearly the go-to dog.

In sum, who would have expected that the dog days of summer would be saved by a dog? Certainly, Lark’s cuteness and exuberance is something that we can all eat up.

Be well!!!

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