An Eleventh Commandment? A Personal Proposal

I was once like you are now and I know that it’s not easy

Cat Stevens

Sometimes life is simply better with an eleven.

For Spinal Tap fans, they all know that when things need to get a rockin’ at the next level, the amp knob is turned from ten to eleven.

For the lucky blackjack gambler holding a 6 and a 4 and doubling down, there is nothing like being dealt an ace. An eleven!

On a hot day living in Reseda, what is more thirst quenching than a Super Big Gulp from 7-11?

Could an Eleventh Commandment improve upon the Ten Commandments? Would an Endecalogue somehow be better than a mere Decalogue? If so, what would it be?

In this post, I will offer up my proposal for such a commandment. This offering is of personal belief rather than any theology.

The Thought Process

To begin this venture, I will lay the groundwork for establishing my personal proposal for an Eleventh Commandment.

In decision-making, guidelines are key. Standards, goals and discipline are required. Creativity , however, must be unburdened in order to make something fantastic.

The first goal is to craft language that would fit within the Ten Commandments’ framework.

When analyzing the Decalogue, there are essentially two ways that commandments go. There are ones that are longer with extended content and there are others that are short and concise.

With this particular consideration, I prefer something generating something that is memorable. As most people easily recall small bits of information, the short and concise is my choice. Further, when people asked to recall the Ten Commandments, they always summarize larger commandments with their own short and concise interpretation.

While conciseness is desired, ambiguity serves as an important scriptural staple. Thus, creating something with some room for interpretation is vital. There is the need to capture the moment when the Barista asks you whether you want some space for milk in your coffee beverage. Unless you are drinking it black, everyone likes to add their individuality to their concoction.

Ambiguity creates opportunity. Opaqueness allows for reader engagement and debate. It is possible that the proposed language takes the commandment into directions not conceived upon.

The next goal is to make the commandment possessing a timeless quality. Does this proposed commandment make sense in the past, the present and the future?

Finally, the last goal would be to take something that is truly of a societal need. Something, that if adhered to, would improve society.

For the purposes of creativity, I want to abandon religiosity in the decision. The reason in doing so is to avoid incorporating other existing scripture and laws. In essence, I did not wish to take an existing Torah commandment and add it. Rather, the choice is to something more secular rather than a redundant expression of Tanach (the Hebrew Bible.)

As the decision was a personal choice, I wanted to take into account my lifetime of observations. I have spent decades seeing what has worked and what hasn’t. As such, I have incorporated my thoughts, dreams and concerns that I have had throughout my life. For the moment, I merge a child’s experience along with that of teenager, a young adult, an adult, and an empty nester.

Finally, I wanted to take a hard look at the many people I have encountered over the years. There are the ones who have enjoyed success and the others not so much. Success is not limited to the notions of financial or occupational. Rather, it is a look towards those who have found happiness and those who have not. I have thought much about what separated the groups.

The Eleventh Commandment

Thus, with all that in mind, my proposed eleventh commandment would be

“Thou Shalt Become An Adult”

With increasing levels of prosperity and diminished expectations in modernity, there are many individuals who simply do not “grow up”.

“Growing up” is the moment in which individuals let go of their self-centeredness. They become willing to sacrifice their self-interest for the interests of others. Parenthood, taken seriously, is one of these moments.

Prosperity, in modernity, has created children who don’t want to grow up and whose parents don’t tell them to. These children either don’t work at all or don’t take work seriously. As an employer, I have seen employees struggle to show up on time after l playing video games throughout the night. Besides being failure at work, their health suffered as well.

There are children who never leave home. They are reliant upon their parents for housing, food and entertainment. Some of these children often offer nothing in return. They fail to assist their parents by performing household chores.

Many of these modern children don’t desire intimate relationships. The consequence of not wanting to have relationships-i.e. marriage- is that people lack the desire to improve upon themselves. They fail to improve upon their skills to get along with others.

Those wanting to get married appreciate that they must make efforts to be attractive both in looks and personality in order to attract a partner. Having an occupation, being responsible, taking care of oneself, and being a nice person are byproducts of the desire to form a union. In other words, individuals seeking relationships appreciate that they need to bring value to their relationships. For the ordinary person, this means improving upon one’s self.

The consequences of this failure to move on to adulthood can be witnessed with such phenomena as incels. Incels are men who consider themselves unable to attract women. Those who take this route can develop hostility towards others.

Thus, we must appreciate tha the concept of adulthood is not entirely biological. It is not totally a function biological changes over a matter or years or their brain development. Rather, adulthood is a state of mind in which sacrifice and responsibility supplant adolescent hedonism. Adulthood is a time upon which an individual not only takes care of their own needs but they also, to their detriment, take care of others.

An adult is someone who understands that life is not all about pleasure seeking and living in the moment. An adult is someone who plans for the future. An adult is someone who understands that they need to be productive in order to have a place to reside and food to eat.

In present times, an adult is not someone who plays video games all night and can’t wake up to come to work on time. An adult is not someone who indulges in drugs and alcohol to the extent that their lives are dedicated to self-medication. An adult is not someone who’s most pressing thought is “when is the next time I am going to get high?”

Sacrifice is also a major issue. Most people desire similar outcomes for themselves without similar sacrifice. After having kids, I have taken only one vacation in approximately 32 years. While raising my kids, I used my vacation funds to send my children to a month of summer camp. My children and I still share the joy of the camping experience.

Beyond child rearing, adulthood is about taking care of lives problems. In one year, I most likely logged a month of time attending sleeping on either a hospital or rehabilitation center floor before running off to work. There have been times when I most likely never made it home for close to a week.

This commandment could also serve adults to remind them of the need to remain an adult. They must exude caution to not slip back into childhood.

This commandment should further remind parents that they need to encourage their children through the maturation process.

In sum, in modern times, “adulthood” is being lost. As advancements in convenience have pressed forward, individuals have been pulled away from achieving this important milestone.

The Irony?

They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.” 

Deuteronomy 21:20

In my Thought Process section, I expressed the desire step away from religiosity and scripture in order to come up with a non-redundant commandment.

Unfortunately for those seeking something new under the Sun, the Torah (and Hebrew Bible) encapsulates the human experience from its beginning to the rise of superpower empires. Thus, there is a substantial likelihood that it has captured almost the entire array of humanity’s foibles, flaws and failures.

Thus, it is to no surprise that upon reflection that a Torah passage comes close to my proposal’s moral objective. The Deuteronomy passage comes close to the mindset of my proposed commandment. It, however, does fully address my concerns. There is the need for people to grow up, become self-sufficient, and to become independent. In doing so, they place them in a position to assume the role of adult. To become someone who is responsible, caring of others and being willing to exercise self-sacrifice.

Conclusion

In the 1980s, there was a very popular jingle. From 1982, in the United States, children were inundated with commercials declaring “I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys R Us kid.” Did this jingle infect the children of a consumer society to truly live out this Peter Pan-ish lifestyle? Is consumerism reaping the crop that this belief system spawned?

In essence, my proposed commandment “Thou Shalt Become An Adult” is a message to the young as far as their destination. For the young adult, it is an anchor. For the parent, it is a direction to send their children.

Please like, follow, share or comment. You are invited to share your thoughts on the proposed commandment or to suggest your own societal needs