why can’t we be friends?
larry david’s hit tv comedy seinfeld had the famous “soup nazi” character. mr. david’s recent anti-social behavior leads one to question whether mr. david has become the “friend nazi.”
the “soup nazi” was a restaurant proprietor. he maintained strict ordering rules. customers failing to follow instructions were denied service with the epic declaration “no soup for you!”
perhaps, mr. larry david channeled his inner “soup nazi” when he encountered his friend, mr. alan dershowitz.
per the pagesix, the following exchange occurred between the two:
dershowitz: “we can still talk, larry.”
david: “no. no. we really can’t. i saw you. i saw you with your arm around [former trump secretary of state mike] pompeo! it’s disgusting!”
dersh: “he’s my former student [at harvard law]. i greet all of my former students that way. i can’t greet my former students?”
david: “it’s disgusting. your whole enclave — it’s disgusting. you’re disgusting!”
before mr. dershowitz’ alleged social offense of being kind to mr. pompeo [who played a role in bring peace to the middle east with the landmark abraham accords], there were many reasons to dislike him. as a criminal defense attorney, he represented accused murderers. he represented the likes of o.j. simpson and claus von bulow. association with accused murders apparently didn’t bother mr. david.
mr. dershowitz has a wide spectrum of respect. he has long been the advocate’s advocate for the criminal justice system and the us constitution. he is an advocate for israel’s peaceful existence with its neighbors. even people who dislike him, if in criminal trouble, would seek his services. he is as much in demand as the fictional jackie chiles.
over the years, per mr. dershowitz’ account, he appeared to be a good friend to mr. david. dershowitz claimed that “he helped get one of david’s daughters into college and had once represented him pro bono in a legal dispute.” pagesix
mr. dershowitz, based upon the facts, is the type of guy who would “spare a square” for mr. david if he ran short of paper in a bathroom stall.
but now, for political reasons, mr. david finds mr. dershowitz is no longer “friend worthy.”
as we can see, mr. david likes his politics “spicy.”
mr. david is so close enough to obama that he could get disinvited to the blowout 60th birthday party. had he attended, he could have hung out with his friends who like to conduct deals with genocidal mullahs. mr. david is not only a “friend nazi,” he also likes people who are friends of nazis.
seinfeld was both a show about “nothing” and humor derived from three despicable self- centered individuals. thus, we know see where there characters came from: mr. david.
perhaps, it is time for mr. david to take costanza’s success in life strategy, and start doing the “the opposite.”
mr. david, as the high holidays approach, perhaps an apology is in the offering to mr. dershowitz. he appears to be a big enough person to accept. his friendship should not be thrown to the curb. he might be your real true friend. perhaps, you will be invited to his birthday party and be allowed to come.
finally, mr. david, please do not be offended by this post as it merely an an early festivus “airing of the grievances.”
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