children want freedom. they want to do the things they want to do. a parent’s directive “because i told you so” simply does not cut it. instead, it creates parent-child conflict.
for parents to win this conflict, the battlefield must be reconfigured. parents’ goals for their children must be understood and adjustments must be made. these goals can be anything from eating their vegetables to playing a musical instrument, to participating in sports.
to win, parents must focus and realize their ultimate goal. once this goal is understood, concessions must be made. a parent must create choices for their child within the goal. these choices allow the child to enjoy some freedom. with freedom comes happiness and cooperation.
thus, take your goals and create within them opportunities for your child. for example, if the goal is having your child eat vegetables, then the parent should provide “choices.” “do you want carrots or peas?” let’s the child decide. the parent wins with either choice. thus, the parent gives the child the opportunity to make a “controlled choice.”
another example of this approach is with a parent’s desire for their child to play a musical instrument. one approach would be to take the child to an music store and let them choose an instrument.
in sum, by doing “controlled choice,” parents can can efficiently achieve ultimate goals and promote decision making opportunities for their child.
try it. it works!
let me know of your success
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