the ultimate life goal was cemented in my early teens. the goal was not a profession, winning some award, or having an athletic achievement. it was to have a family and become a parent.
being awkward and unusual, this endeavor was a daunting task. over coming shyness to ask some one out, actually getting a date, and actually getting into a committed relationship was not easy. the journey to be a family man was met with many dumpster fire and tire fire events. a serving of humiliation was often provided on a cold plate. despite all this, as jeff goldblum famously said in jurassic park, life finds a way.
my goal post, after many years, was in view. with ex-wife in her ninth month, we were on the two yard line ready to bring a baby boy into the end zone of life. the play book was to rune the old wife’s tale play to induce and score. number 49 on the chart was called, beef with broccoli. chinese food was rumored to start contractions.
the call looked good. after dinner, contraction ensued and a hospital visit was in. entry into the end zone was not to occur. the contractions were too apart. after a short time at home, contractions started more and another play at the hospital happened. movement was made to cross the line to score.
the goal line stand was vicious. the laborious struggle lasted past saturday into sunday.
sunday morning, the ob-gyn doctor, switching sports, took out her catcher’s mitt, and took the life form coming out as a strike. a new child born on the super day that people can’t say because of trademark infringement.
the primordial “be fruitful and multiply” from genesis:1:22, had finally occurred. officially, i was now part of the process of the further creation of the world. a connection back to the earliest part of the torah.
this moment of achievement, however, was short lived. the early moments with a newborn and their helplessness that would last for years revealed an emotion unfelt. guilt. overwhelming guilt came over me. i immediately got on the phone and apologized to my parents for being the child that i was. it was only at that moment that i could truly appeciate my parent’s sacrifice in bring me into this world.
this story could have been greater had our super @@@@ baby had gone on to play football. to me, however, it was one of the few true super moments in my life.
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