one of humanity’s greatest competitive eaters, joey chestnut, made history in the park dedicated to one of humanity’s greatest minds.
this fourth of july, at the nathan’s hot dog eating contest, mr. chestnut nailed a patriotic 76 tally. a new record and a 14th title. mr. chestnut, perhaps the last remaining figure of american greatness, brought back american pride by vanquishing the japanese great competitive eater takeru kobayashi who had dominated the event. the ugly american returned. it was the miracle on a bun.
the historic gastronomic event of meat-chievement took place at the maimonides park stadium in coney island. outrageous!
maimondes is one of the great minds in history. a spanish philospher, physician, and theologian. he wrote treatise on medicine on a wide range of topics including asthma, and even hemorrhoids! he wrote about life in cities and the need for fresh air, clean water and a healthy diet. rosner, the life of moses maimonides, a prominent medieval physician.
for jewish people, he is considered the greatest moses since the original moses.
thus, we must ask the question: if maimonides was time transported to this present day sausage battle, what would he think? would he be perplexed? maimonides most likely would have understood it. after all, he wrote “the guide for the perplexed.” likewise, insatiable needs were also in his wheelhouse as he wrote a medical treatise on sex.
he, however, would have likely been concerned with the overindulgence.
thus, modern humanity, ironically, conducts a gluttony contest in a park dedicated to someone who medically advocated moderation.
the phenomena of taking the namesake of a special person and ruining it is becoming all too common. a new york park dedicated to george washington has become a human cesspool. dailymail
thus, modern humanity, which has spent considerable time in the past years destroying statues and renaming parks over historic figures’ digressions, fails to respect past figures who deserve their respect. there is a unhealthy imbalance of the freedom to show disrespect without the need to show respect to those deserving it.
in sum, if maimonides had been time transported and met mr. chestnut, perhaps, he would have given him the following advice: “next year’s contest, just eat one hot dog and walk away a winner.”
be well!!
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